Spring Cleaning: At your house or mine?

By Ann Burnside Love

Do I mean heavy-duty spring-cleaning, where you roll the rugs, carry them outdoors and beat them with a tennis racquet? Hardly. Though some of us may have traces of memory about that. For myself, I can’t remember when my mother did not have a vacuum cleaner, although the cooling process in the kitchen was by icebox, until the amazing Frigidaire came along.

When I think about spring cleaning, I’m certainly relieved not to still be living in the six-bedroom house where I raised my children, although it was emotional agony leaving it, or the three-bedroom house on the edge of the park I bought when they were grown, or even my first retirement house in a 55-plus community. I remember them all. And I remember spring cleaning in all of them.

Planning to Age in Place? But Which Place?

By Ann Burnside Love

My friend Marjorie and I, during the same month, signed onto the waiting list for the retirement community I now live in, two and a half years before our names came up on the list for our apartments. When I got the call that a residence was reserved for me, I was definitely ready. I’d made my choice. My children had been concerned about me after some health issues, though I still considered myself independent. So I was stunned to discover that my friend had no intention of moving. Ever. She truly caught me off guard when she said: “I’m not leaving this house until I’m carried out feet first.”

Many people expect they will be independent all their lives, “doing for themselves” forever. And some do. Others expect their families to take care of them, also forever. Many people during their early years as a senior are in good health and having a fine time doing things they’ve always looked forward to doing. And that may work immediately after retirement, and for a few years afterward; some seniors expect that to last perpetually.

The Olympics, Retirement Living and Inspiration to Keep Moving

By Ann Burnside Love

Let’s face it: The Olympics are a sedentary sport for us retirees. Right now we’re in the midst of our least active two-week period of the winter, if you’re as interested in the Winter Games as I am. Over the years I‘ve planned my Olympics-watching to make sure I don’t miss any ice skating. I’ll ignore much of the rest to keep my own life going appropriately.

But I get caught up watching skiers and snowboarders do all those hair-raising things they do. I’m always amazed when they take off their helmets and we see such glowingly fresh faces of the healthiest, most beautiful young people alive.

Then it occurred to me recently that much of the same dynamic is going on in my retirement community. (What?) There is a tall, slender lady in her eighties who walks two miles vigorously every day and has done so for years. She’s always glowing and positive, even though she has her own health challenges.

Enjoying the Many Holidays Which Fill out Your Year

By Ann Burnside Love

You’ve been retired for a while. You’re doing well, or you’re doing less than well, but managing. Possibly you’re thinking about, or wanting, or needing to make a change to a community where your life will be more comfortable, safer, and where there will be both friends and prompt assistance when you need it. A place specifically dedicated to keeping life inviting and interesting, and generally helping you improve the quality of your life.

When I was still living alone, I was participating less and less in life around me because I was always tired, and frequently recovering from various health challenges. One example of the limitations on my energy was that I had virtually stopped decorating for holidays, except for a small pumpkin for Halloween and Thanksgiving, a few chosen ornaments at Christmas, and a wreath on my front door.

Seasonal decorating, which I’ve always loved, used to be a real pleasure. But now the thought of getting boxes out of storage, unwrapping, arranging, and then reversing the process, loomed in my mind as something definitely to be avoided. I simply didn’t care enough to expend the energy. Thus, along the way I lost interest in all but the major and family holidays.

Living Close and Staying Involved in Family Events

By Ann Burnside Love

My family is big in the birthday celebration department, and this month is especially busy with six in two generations. This means I’m not deficient in cake consumption, because my chosen retirement community is within convenient reach of the families involved. Plus, there was a truly delightful surprise addition when my first great-grandchild was recently born, thus becoming a member of this distinguished (fun) group of winter birthday celebrants.

Many of the residents in my retirement community also attend family and local events as I do. We have friends and colleagues nearby we also see regularly.

So I asked a few what they value about living close to family. These are some of their answers:

What Made You Decide to Move?

By Ann Burnside Love

For this week’s blog, I introduced myself to some new neighbors, and asked them why they decided to move into a senior living community like the one I call home.

He says: “We had accumulated all these things together during our marriage. We were getting up in age. Rather than leave one of us to have all that to deal with, we decided to move into one of the beautiful new patio cottages this community has built. We’ve been here a month and can already tell it was exactly the right thing for us to do.”

She says: “We still need to go back to our house and finish sorting out the last of our possessions, so we can put the house on the market at the beginning of next month. We’re almost finished, thank goodness. We’re quite ready to settle down and have time to experience more about our new surroundings!”

Arriving By the Back Door

By Ann Burnside Love

This story is about the unexpected way I moved into the beautiful retirement apartment I now call home. As a hint — although my daughter and I had planned every detail together — when the day came I never even saw the moving crew.

Where are you when the weather is extreme?

By Ann Burnside Love

Without getting into a discussion of whose theories are right about climate change, during this last week we have been experiencing the coldest temperatures Americans under 40 have ever encountered. (The weather folks tell us this, so it must be so.) At the same time, they give us below-zero wind chill reports in all sorts of cities and communities unused to and unequipped for these extremes.

Since I’m primarily addressing my contemporaries and their adult children, I realize that we are several decades older than 40 years, and most of us have experienced lots of weather extremes in our lifetimes, no matter what part of the country in which we live. Even the southern states are experiencing one of the coldest spells on record.

Now, I’m prepared to believe that this “cold” is life threatening, and that my contemporaries and I had better remain indoors, period. The question then becomes: Where indoors and under what circumstances?

Adult Child? You Can Help!

By Ann Burnside Love

Are you, by any chance, the adult child or child-in-law, niece, nephew, sister, brother, cousin or very good friend of a senior who would benefit from a different living situation?

May I suggest that the recent holidays could have given you an opportunity to look closer at how your senior relatives or friends are doing in important ways, such as:

• eating nutritious meals, or having access to appropriate food?

• getting enough exercise?

• living in physically safe surroundings indoors and out?

• receiving sufficient and quick medical attention?

• living in an unhappy or limiting situation?

• needing more assistance in daily living — or would benefit from a simpler and less demanding lifestyle where they have fewer responsibilities and more choices in how they spend their time?

Or, from a less dramatic point of view, do you think that person is in good shape generally — and could benefit from being around people with similar interests, abilities, and tastes — plus diverse life experiences to share? Studies show that these are among the best benefits of senior retirement communities.

Seasonal residents: Now they’re here, now they’re away

By Ann Burnside Love

The new lady in the apartment next door moved in, then disappeared. Six months later she returned. Seems she owns a summer home in Maine where the community requires residents to be there for six months a year. Her brood is large, and each family loves to come there for a couple of weeks every summer. But there would be gaps if no one were in residence continuously.

Actually, she’s due back from her second and what she said would be her last summer away for six months, because she’s too tired to keep it up. So when she sold her house in our area, she established her new home in our senior residential community so it would be ready and waiting for her at all times. This is her permanent home.

The Dumbest Thing I Actually Worried About Before Moving

By Ann Burnside Love

It had to do with something I’d never lacked before and truly valued above much else. Actually, I felt guilty that I was even thinking about this possibility, but so it was.

Separately, I was happy and excited about the apartment I’d chosen. I was practical enough not to really worry about the actual moving process, once my daughter and I planned it down to the tiniest detail. A lot of the important-to-me worry stuff was being taken care of — having to do with possessions I was passing along to the next generations.

My oversize recliners, comfortable and beloved by all, went to No. 2 Son and his family, my piano to No. 3 Son whose young family loved music. The round dining room table and chairs, with carpet, went to No. 1 Son’s family. And the capacious mahogany buffet from my late husband’s family went to my daughter, along with a selection of the china, silver and linens that lived within. Then the whole family, including grown grandchildren, got to choose a share of the lovely things left throughout the house — bargaining with each other so politely I was stunned. My concern about fairness was resolved.

But when all that was settled, I was still left with inside-the-churning-brain worry, the dark kind: I was entering a group of a couple hundred people. Would I be comfortable with the established residents and they with me? I knew a few, but just acquaintances. Would there be people with whom to converse, think aloud, learn from … and laugh?

Like Living on a Cruise--Only Better!

By Ann Burnside Love

This attitude I can understand: Many people liken living in a senior living community to being on a cruise ship. Your meals are provided in a beautiful dining room, there’s an array of entertainment from concerts and shows to speakers on all sorts of subjects, and holiday celebrations, all of which — differently from a cruise — you may invite family and friends without also arranging for their travel!