Adult Child? You Can Help!

By Ann Burnside Love

Are you, by any chance, the adult child or child-in-law, niece, nephew, sister, brother, cousin or very good friend of a senior who would benefit from a different living situation?

May I suggest that the recent holidays could have given you an opportunity to look closer at how your senior relatives or friends are doing in important ways, such as:

• eating nutritious meals, or having access to appropriate food?

• getting enough exercise?

• living in physically safe surroundings indoors and out?

• receiving sufficient and quick medical attention?

• living in an unhappy or limiting situation?

• needing more assistance in daily living — or would benefit from a simpler and less demanding lifestyle where they have fewer responsibilities and more choices in how they spend their time?

Or, from a less dramatic point of view, do you think that person is in good shape generally — and could benefit from being around people with similar interests, abilities, and tastes — plus diverse life experiences to share? Studies show that these are among the best benefits of senior retirement communities.

Today, most people have a far healthier concept of living in a retirement community than in the dreaded nursing homes of previous generations. Yet there is still one barrier that looms large to many retirees: the concept of change — and giving up their independence.

As a retiree who has lived comfortably in a suburban retirement community over four years, I’m proof I haven’t been called upon to give up my independence. In fact, I’m more free to decide what to do with my time than at any other point in my life!

Now, whether you noticed slight changes or more serious ones in your loved one, you may feel that moving into a continuing care retirement community may be worth encouraging your relative/friend to consider.

Please keep in mind: People who make the move while they are still physically well and able to enter into activities, and make new friends, get much more out of their improved lifestyle than do people who become frail or less active before making such a change.

The do’s and don’ts when you start this conversation are worth remembering if you hope for a positive response:

• If you aren’t the closest person(s) who are actually responsible for helping your relative or friend, talk it over with the person(s) who are responsible before you start urging the subject to make choices. This is a big and important change you’re suggesting.

• Do some research and present accurate information. Don’t just start flinging out ideas for which you haven’t a real basis yet.

• Don’t start the conversation with “You should…!” Be kind, be considerate, and remember you’re offering suggestions, not giving commands!

Also, few people make this decision the same day they are presented with suggestions. Be patient. Let the advantages have time to settle in.

Best of all, if your ideas are accepted, be ready to help make it happen! That’s the sign of a relative or friend who really has the best interests of your loved one in mind.

Carry on!

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Ann Burnside Love’s blog appears here every Thursday. Comments are much appreciated!