By Ann Burnside Love
My friend Marjorie and I, during the same month, signed onto
the waiting list for the retirement community I now live in, two and a half years
before our names came up on the list for our apartments. When I got the call
that a residence was reserved for me, I was definitely ready. I’d made my
choice. My children had been concerned about me after some health issues, though
I still considered myself independent. So I was stunned to discover that my
friend had no intention of moving. Ever. She truly caught me off guard when she
said: “I’m not leaving this house until I’m carried out feet first.”
Many people expect they will be independent all their lives,
“doing for themselves” forever. And some do. Others expect their families to
take care of them, also forever. Many people during their early years as a
senior are in good health and having a fine time doing things they’ve always
looked forward to doing. And that may work immediately after retirement, and
for a few years afterward; some seniors expect that to last perpetually.
Well, I moved and have been what I describe as a “happy
camper.” I was ever so much more comfortable after settling in, with far fewer time-consuming
domestic responsibilities as I continued my lifetime career as a writer.
Marjorie, however, was dealing with stress, largely caused by her children — while
she still taught college English at 80 to help finance these grown children and
their spouses.
As my family and I anticipated, she began having more frequent
heart-related trips to the emergency room, taken there by me, my children or ambulance.
My daughter and her husband were increasingly doing her grocery shopping. They were
particularly fond of her and considered her family as we all did. They walked
her dog for the last six months of her life. She was my children’s guest, as
was I, at a beautiful, warm and close Christmas Eve supper. That night at
midnight she called my daughter for what was her last trip to the hospital.
Now, I’m not suggesting that not living in a community like
this contributed to her death. (Although it has crossed my mind….) What I am
suggesting is, that for countless reasons, living in a retirement community
would have offered her a barrier to the everyday strain, as well as all the
simplifications. At the community she declined, there is instant and endless
access to health care. Retirees who do live in such communities find a calm and
pleasant way of life, or as much excitement as they can manage, depending on
their choices. It’s a healthy life. Statistics really do show that those who
live in retirement communities live longer than their contemporaries who choose
to live out their days alone or isolated in their longtime homes.
So I’m suggesting that interested seniors carefully consider
retirement community living as an option to all the responsibilities that
“outsiders” continue to juggle, while we “insiders” continue to flourish. Carry
on!
Ann’s blogs appear here every Thursday. Comments are welcome!
No comments:
Post a Comment