A Quick Temperature Check for Seniors

By: Ann Burnside Love

In the natural climate wherever we’ve lived much of our lives, most of us have developed opinions on which temperatures are comfortable, which are tolerable and what’s miserable. We’re also aware of how these varying climates affect our health and lifestyle. Some of us, me included, have become extra-sensitive to temperature extremes, and therefore try to avoid them.

Many retirees are aware of the benefits of a residential living community — where you no longer have to shovel snow, clean snow off your car, drive through ice and storms to the doctors’ offices, grocery stores or on shopping errands.

A Car, A Car, My Kingdom for a Car!

By Ann Burnside Love

With apologies to Shakespeare’s “Richard III,” transportation is a very big thing for most retirees. For years, as we retain our independence, driving our own car is one of the most important things we do. We drive to the mall and the grocery store, our physicians’ offices, to the golf course, tennis courts, bowling alleys, restaurants, and to our children’s homes if they live nearby. We drive to special events and meetings. We explore the national parks, spend the winter in warm places and drive there whenever it’s the right time.

The "Boomers" Retirement Community is Different

I live in a retirement community built 15 years ago.  Generally, the accommodations are what I expected. I’m very comfortable.

However. There is a very different community rising on 100 acres across the street, definitely part of our community by name, ownership and management. It’s specifically designed for boomers, who—research shows—want a different style of retirement. And what is that?

I visited the model home for this new section the other day, and can certainly see that these roomy residences are intended for 55-plus residents and up, members of the “boomers” generation; the model had elegance, spaciousness, granite counters and profoundly large closets. The hostess/marketer explained that “these boomer homes are for retirees 55-plus. They are not putting off moving from the homes where they raised their children. They are so ready for no-maintenance, single-level homes with fireplaces and plenty of space. They want to have fun. These customers are looking for ease of living, attractive and versatile space, attached homes, the wave of the future. They feel entitled.”

I came away impressed, not only with the space, but also with a vision of a new lifestyle.

Working on Your Moving Plans After This Year's Weather Extremes?

By Ann Burnside Love

While enjoying the fireplace in our lobby’s sitting room, a lovely neighbor came up to me with a friend who’s moving into our retirement community a few months from now. The friend said she enjoys reading the newspaper column I’ve written for years. When I heard her voice, I realized that I remembered her from a group we both belonged to in our 30s.

“I’m moving this year because I can’t stay on the farm through another winter,” she said. “I can’t do all the stuff required through as much snow and ice as we’ve experienced recently. Actually, I’ve been downsizing for five years, so it won’t be as big a deal to move as it might have been.”

So she’s positioned herself to make the move she really wants to make. And she’s taken steps to make it possible. She’s decided on a retirement community, gotten onto the waiting list, been what we call “right sizing” for years, and she’s recognized now is the time.

I'm Living in a Media Center! Who Knew?

By Ann Burnside Love

We’re not to call libraries “libraries” any more. They are now media centers doing much more than housing books. I know this is true truth, because two of my daughters-in-law are media center coordinators in public schools. One works in an elementary school in Northern Virginia, and the other in a nearly brand new Maryland high school. Both started out as teachers and later took extra masters’ degrees to qualify as media center coordinators. This is where I get my information.

How do I know that I actually live in the middle of a Media Center? Well, I already knew my retirement community had several libraries, for starters.

Olympians Fall More Gracefully Than We Do!

By Ann Burnside Love

The Olympics are reserved for the most masterful athletes, and over the last two weeks, we’ve watched ice skaters gracefully twirl and dance, and also gracefully fall to the ice on their hips, knees and sides. We’ve likewise watched skiers with medals and stellar reputations fly downhill around challenging turns and jumps — only to fly right off track into snow banks and forgiving fences.

Many of these athletes already endured multiple surgeries for broken bones and injured backs. They’re young. They know they will (probably, if they work very, very hard) heal enough to come back next season.

Seniors, on the other hand, have less chance to heal that successfully if our falls are serious. We will probably never climb a ladder again, much less get out on the golf course, tennis court or mountainside in hiking boots. Or even live by ourselves anymore, running errands and getting ourselves to doctor’s appointments in bad weather. Think about the challenging weather we’re experiencing this year alone. How often have you dared to leave the house?

At a retirement community, you don’t have to ask yourself the question: Is leaving the house worth the fall risk? Many of my neighbors — already surprised by the countless amenities available to them now that they are at a retirement community — were also shocked to realize the many ways communities work to keep residents safe. Whatever weather emergency is going on, we don’t have to worry about braving the elements and risking a fall since most communities provide indoor access to dining services, a wellness center and exercise pool.

The Olympics, Retirement Living and Inspiration to Keep Moving

By Ann Burnside Love

Let’s face it: The Olympics are a sedentary sport for us retirees. Right now we’re in the midst of our least active two-week period of the winter, if you’re as interested in the Winter Games as I am. Over the years I‘ve planned my Olympics-watching to make sure I don’t miss any ice skating. I’ll ignore much of the rest to keep my own life going appropriately.

But I get caught up watching skiers and snowboarders do all those hair-raising things they do. I’m always amazed when they take off their helmets and we see such glowingly fresh faces of the healthiest, most beautiful young people alive.

Then it occurred to me recently that much of the same dynamic is going on in my retirement community. (What?) There is a tall, slender lady in her eighties who walks two miles vigorously every day and has done so for years. She’s always glowing and positive, even though she has her own health challenges.

Enjoying the Many Holidays Which Fill out Your Year

By Ann Burnside Love

You’ve been retired for a while. You’re doing well, or you’re doing less than well, but managing. Possibly you’re thinking about, or wanting, or needing to make a change to a community where your life will be more comfortable, safer, and where there will be both friends and prompt assistance when you need it. A place specifically dedicated to keeping life inviting and interesting, and generally helping you improve the quality of your life.

When I was still living alone, I was participating less and less in life around me because I was always tired, and frequently recovering from various health challenges. One example of the limitations on my energy was that I had virtually stopped decorating for holidays, except for a small pumpkin for Halloween and Thanksgiving, a few chosen ornaments at Christmas, and a wreath on my front door.

Seasonal decorating, which I’ve always loved, used to be a real pleasure. But now the thought of getting boxes out of storage, unwrapping, arranging, and then reversing the process, loomed in my mind as something definitely to be avoided. I simply didn’t care enough to expend the energy. Thus, along the way I lost interest in all but the major and family holidays.

Living Close and Staying Involved in Family Events

By Ann Burnside Love

My family is big in the birthday celebration department, and this month is especially busy with six in two generations. This means I’m not deficient in cake consumption, because my chosen retirement community is within convenient reach of the families involved. Plus, there was a truly delightful surprise addition when my first great-grandchild was recently born, thus becoming a member of this distinguished (fun) group of winter birthday celebrants.

Many of the residents in my retirement community also attend family and local events as I do. We have friends and colleagues nearby we also see regularly.

So I asked a few what they value about living close to family. These are some of their answers:

What Made You Decide to Move?

By Ann Burnside Love

For this week’s blog, I introduced myself to some new neighbors, and asked them why they decided to move into a senior living community like the one I call home.

He says: “We had accumulated all these things together during our marriage. We were getting up in age. Rather than leave one of us to have all that to deal with, we decided to move into one of the beautiful new patio cottages this community has built. We’ve been here a month and can already tell it was exactly the right thing for us to do.”

She says: “We still need to go back to our house and finish sorting out the last of our possessions, so we can put the house on the market at the beginning of next month. We’re almost finished, thank goodness. We’re quite ready to settle down and have time to experience more about our new surroundings!”

Arriving By the Back Door

By Ann Burnside Love

This story is about the unexpected way I moved into the beautiful retirement apartment I now call home. As a hint — although my daughter and I had planned every detail together — when the day came I never even saw the moving crew.

Where are you when the weather is extreme?

By Ann Burnside Love

Without getting into a discussion of whose theories are right about climate change, during this last week we have been experiencing the coldest temperatures Americans under 40 have ever encountered. (The weather folks tell us this, so it must be so.) At the same time, they give us below-zero wind chill reports in all sorts of cities and communities unused to and unequipped for these extremes.

Since I’m primarily addressing my contemporaries and their adult children, I realize that we are several decades older than 40 years, and most of us have experienced lots of weather extremes in our lifetimes, no matter what part of the country in which we live. Even the southern states are experiencing one of the coldest spells on record.

Now, I’m prepared to believe that this “cold” is life threatening, and that my contemporaries and I had better remain indoors, period. The question then becomes: Where indoors and under what circumstances?

Adult Child? You Can Help!

By Ann Burnside Love

Are you, by any chance, the adult child or child-in-law, niece, nephew, sister, brother, cousin or very good friend of a senior who would benefit from a different living situation?

May I suggest that the recent holidays could have given you an opportunity to look closer at how your senior relatives or friends are doing in important ways, such as:

• eating nutritious meals, or having access to appropriate food?

• getting enough exercise?

• living in physically safe surroundings indoors and out?

• receiving sufficient and quick medical attention?

• living in an unhappy or limiting situation?

• needing more assistance in daily living — or would benefit from a simpler and less demanding lifestyle where they have fewer responsibilities and more choices in how they spend their time?

Or, from a less dramatic point of view, do you think that person is in good shape generally — and could benefit from being around people with similar interests, abilities, and tastes — plus diverse life experiences to share? Studies show that these are among the best benefits of senior retirement communities.

No More Snow Shoveling for Us!

By Ann Burnside Love

Right now as I’m writing, major areas of our country are dealing with heavy snow and ice, and The Weather Channel is constantly talking about, and showing us, places where the accumulation has made transportation particularly difficult and dangerous.

Accidents along major highways: 30-some cars skidded into a tight mess that looks, unfortunately, like a junkyard. Overturned 18-wheelers. People bundled up as they try to shovel snow that’s building up faster than they can shovel. Airports are delaying hundreds of flights, again experiencing massive tie-ups and stranded people.

And I’m looking out the window behind my computer, enjoying a gorgeous multi-day snowfall that’s made the trees into a fairyland. I can see my car down in the parking lot, the seventh totally blanketed mound from the left — and happily my name is already on the list to have my car dug out when it lets up. Soon I’ll go down to the dining room for a hot lunch and all the hot green tea I want!

Back in the early ‘90s, when Love & Company first became involved with senior living, one of the main features prospective residents were interested in was “No More Snow Shoveling.” Everyone talked about it in the same breath they talked about not having to cook. One of our newspaper ad series featured individuals gleefully listing all the things they no longer had to do related to snow and other challenges.

Measure Your New Retirement Home Before You Move!

By Ann Burnside Love

Well, you were given a floor plan when you chose your apartment or cottage, weren’t you? It showed the dimensions, didn’t it? Why should you have to measure it yourself?

20 Reasons I'm Thankful to Live in a Retirement Community

By Ann Burnside Love

• Someone else cleans my apartment regularly, changes my bed linen, and recycles my newspapers. (If this sounds wonderful, it is.) After certain breaks in health, I really can't do many of these things. And I'm most grateful for their services because they allow me time to continue my professional career at the level I do.

• At Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and more holidays, our kitchen staff throws banquets for us so delicious that family members love to come. Thus I still have a turn in the family cycle for holiday entertaining.

• Vanessa, the cat, is happy here, has engraved all her habits, wishes and desires upon my brain, and she hasn't yet climbed from my balcony to the roof, as others’ cats have.

• When my garbage disposal broke down, all I had to do was phone maintenance and it was fixed by the next day.

• Someone else clears my car of snow and ice before I go out.

Seasonal residents: Now they’re here, now they’re away

By Ann Burnside Love

The new lady in the apartment next door moved in, then disappeared. Six months later she returned. Seems she owns a summer home in Maine where the community requires residents to be there for six months a year. Her brood is large, and each family loves to come there for a couple of weeks every summer. But there would be gaps if no one were in residence continuously.

Actually, she’s due back from her second and what she said would be her last summer away for six months, because she’s too tired to keep it up. So when she sold her house in our area, she established her new home in our senior residential community so it would be ready and waiting for her at all times. This is her permanent home.

The Dumbest Thing I Actually Worried About Before Moving

By Ann Burnside Love

It had to do with something I’d never lacked before and truly valued above much else. Actually, I felt guilty that I was even thinking about this possibility, but so it was.

Separately, I was happy and excited about the apartment I’d chosen. I was practical enough not to really worry about the actual moving process, once my daughter and I planned it down to the tiniest detail. A lot of the important-to-me worry stuff was being taken care of — having to do with possessions I was passing along to the next generations.

My oversize recliners, comfortable and beloved by all, went to No. 2 Son and his family, my piano to No. 3 Son whose young family loved music. The round dining room table and chairs, with carpet, went to No. 1 Son’s family. And the capacious mahogany buffet from my late husband’s family went to my daughter, along with a selection of the china, silver and linens that lived within. Then the whole family, including grown grandchildren, got to choose a share of the lovely things left throughout the house — bargaining with each other so politely I was stunned. My concern about fairness was resolved.

But when all that was settled, I was still left with inside-the-churning-brain worry, the dark kind: I was entering a group of a couple hundred people. Would I be comfortable with the established residents and they with me? I knew a few, but just acquaintances. Would there be people with whom to converse, think aloud, learn from … and laugh?

Like Living on a Cruise--Only Better!

By Ann Burnside Love

This attitude I can understand: Many people liken living in a senior living community to being on a cruise ship. Your meals are provided in a beautiful dining room, there’s an array of entertainment from concerts and shows to speakers on all sorts of subjects, and holiday celebrations, all of which — differently from a cruise — you may invite family and friends without also arranging for their travel!

What's it really like, those first days?

By Ann Burnside Love

For weeks I‘d imagined the scene: On my first full day as a new retirement community resident, I would leave my pile of boxes and go down in the elevator for lunch, and walk the curving hall, with big windows overlooking the lovely pond with fountains and water lilies, to the dining room entrance. Study the lunch menu in the lighted case for the first time, then walk into the dining room and find a seat. By myself. Surrounded by examining eyes.

I’ve been on my own for a lot of years: Decades ago, as a young widow, I founded a little marketing company that grew way beyond anyone’s expectations. Traveled the country to clients alone, been in professional meetings with total strangers. Circulated and made new acquaintances in crowded rooms. Eaten in lots of restaurants alone. Confident and independent, you bet. But now it would be different. I would be a newcomer, no longer in charge. This entrance …